Dear O. Gelder,

I think this fear and disgust comes from the fact that mushrooms are so clearly alive but, as you say, feed on death. As Martha Nussbaum said in last Sunday’s NYTimes Magazine, “The common property of all these primary disgust objects is that they are reminders of our animality and mortality.”

Look at the names in these mushroom diagrams: Volva, Annulus, Flesh, Spines, Warts…mushrooms remind us of our own bodies.

Mostly, of course, mushrooms are phallic. We fear and disgust them in the same way we do a horse’s penis. Speaking of which, I’m a little worried that your last name refers to someone who performs animal castration.

What exactly are you doing over at Gelder Head Productions?


ps. I didn’t know Mr. Sultan. I only have two friends.

One Reply to “Caponizer?”

  1. Hey, Les.

    GHP is my public persona. I’m working on my beard. And how do you like the teeth? I’ve been working on the whitening, but I’m afraid they may have taken the process too far. Smile or no smile, always the problem with those damn head shots.

    I didn’t know you’d been reading the paper so closely. Lookin for something particular? You better not be trying to find friends; your FB pic makes you look like some kinda sex freak. Yow. I better dissociate from you or Homeland Security will put me on their hit list.

    By the way, your observation about mushrooms, while they disgust, sicken, and embarrass me, are right on target. Your defaming of my noble last name, however, can scarcely be tolerated.


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